So today didn't start out as planned. We've been having issues keeping the house cool in this historic heat wave. I was working into the wee hours of the morning blocking windows with film that's supposed to absorb heat, reflect light yada yada. I'm willing to try anything at this point. It's almost 2pm and it hasn't hit 80 inside yet so I'm hopeful.
I got up this morning and skipped church. My husband's birthday is today and he has requested a special dinner. I didn't have the required items to make the meal (homemade pizza) so I had to run to the store. I opted to go early to avoid the after church crowds and get home before it got hot. So I loaded the kids up, headed out.. and the car starts acting up.. joy.. we've had transmission problems out of it off and on since we bought it. This time is worse than the others, which means it's going to cost more to fix it. I felt bad that I had to deliver this joyous news to my dear husband on his birthday of all days.
We'll make it work somehow.. we'll get through it, we always do. I didn't go asking God why this happened, I did get discouraged but I'm not blaming God. I did go find a quiet place, hit my knees and start praying though..It's been a while since I did that. I pray, we all pray, but I was praying in earnest this time. I even apologised for not going to church this morning. I prayed about a lot of things I'm not going to list but I got up and felt better.. more at ease, like a weight had been lifted. I'm not going to worry. God is always in control... He's got this.
I keep trying to remind myself that "He's got this" but it's hard sometimes! Unlike you, I have been doing some asking "Why?" I've been discouraged too. But, like you, I've been praying in earnest a lot myself. Maybe that's part of the why---to drive me to my knees in complete dependence on Him! Sometimes I forget that He's in charge. I think I've got it all covered. Not good.
ReplyDeleteI get overconfident when things are going well and I forget who is responsible for these good times. It's sad that it takes Him knocking the stool out from under us to get our attention so we will seek Him. :( Reading through B90Days while everything seems to be falling apart has really helped me keep my focus to remember that 'He's got this' He's got everything!
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